Hey everyone! We just finished up the Bloomburrow edition of the Arena Open and you might be feeling a bit of fatigue with drafting the set. Luckily, we have the Alchemy version about to hit Arena and I am here to review all of the new additions.
I always have to preface these with the reminder that these cards were designed for Constructed formats. That means they tend to either be wildly broken or unplayable garbage in Limited. The running joke is that if the Alchemy card seems like it actually does something, you should probably take it.
Here’s the usual grading scale:
- 5.0: Disgustingly powerful and basically unbeatable. Either answer it the turn it comes down or just pack up your cards. (Gruff Triplets, Virtue of Persistence, The Eternal Wanderer)
- 4.5: Incredible bomb that still gives your opponent a slim chance. (Virtue of Loyalty, Imodane's Recruiter, Realm-Scorcher Hellkite)
- 4.0: Great rare or the absolute best uncommons and removal. (Faunsbane Troll, Gumdrop Poisoner, Talion's Messenger)
- 3.5: Great role filler or removal that you never cut. (Candy Grapple, Hearth Elemental, Torch the Tower)
- 3.0: Good playable that I’m basically never cutting. (Shrouded Shepherd, Spellscorn Coven, Sharae of Numbing Depths)
- 2.5: Decent playable and the bar I hope nearly every card in my deck to reach. (Evolving Wilds, Archon's Glory, Flick a Coin)
- 2.0: Mediocre filler that normally is your 20-23rd card(s). (Mintstrosity, Ice Out, Grabby Giant)
- 1.5: Replaceable, overall bad filler. Could also be decent sideboard cards. (Titanic Growth, Scarecrow Guide, Territorial Witchstalker)
- 1.0: Bad filler. Gets cut most of the time. (Dark Tutelage, Kindled Heroism, Impact Tremors)
- 0.5: Very unhappy to main deck this, but maybe it has fringe sideboard applications. Cards that “could” be situationally decent, but bad in most situations. (Smothering Tithe, Rhystic Study, Mana Flare)
- 0.0: Unplayable in every possible situation. They rarely print cards this bad these days. (Hew the Entwood, One with Nothing)
The long awaited Alchemy and Standard rotation happens on July 30, 2024 to MTG Arena! Learn all about Bloomburrow and find all our related articles in our hub.
Awestruck Cygnet
Rating: 1.5/5
Nobody is awestruck by a Savannah Lions these days especially in a world stacked with Carrot Cake. It’s doubtful that you get doubles of this rare so you need to play three flyers while this is in play to get the upgrade. That’s not that likely to happen so I’m staying realistic on this grade.
Cottontail Caretaker
Rating: 3.0/5
Adding Offspring can get crazy as long as you have the right cards to go with it. While being a bear doesn’t hold as much weight as it did back in the days of the dinosaurs (that’s me), it does mean the floor isn’t too low for a card with a bunch of upside.
Sandcloud Harbinger
Rating: 2.5/5
This card conjures Sunscorched Desert.
You can gain a whole mess of life off of this, but you are also taking the chance that they get to draw their cards before you do. If you’re in a deck that wants to stall on the ground while winning in the air or in the life gain deck, then this horse could be what you’re looking for.
Three Tree Battalion
Rating: 3.5/5
The obvious comparison is going to be Collected Company, but this might be a little better in limited since you only have to hit one three drop in your top six cards. The second one is only going to be a 1/1, but hopefully you’re playing plenty of critters with good comes into play abilities.
Archival Whorl
Rating: 1.5/5
This card conjures a Rhystic Study.
Most of these Timetwister effects are terrible limited cards, but this might be playable since it can be one-sided as long as you’re willing to give them a Rhystic Study. The problem is that most of the blue decks don’t have a problem with card advantage so this doesn’t really have a place. I’d be willing to give it a whorl in the right deck.
Pool Resources
Rating: 2.5/5
Instant speed Divination is certainly a playable card even by todays standards and this has the option to toss them a fish to ensure that you get two nonlands. Sounds like a much better deal than agreeing to a car pool.
Shellfish Scholar
Rating: 3.5/5
This card conjures Think Twice
I had this whole diatribe written about this before I reread it and noticed this said “or another rat”. That makes this a potential card advantage engine in your Dimir decks. It also means the ability make a lot more sense when you can conjure more than one.
Tempest Trapper
Rating: 2.0/5
Could this potentially do some really stupid things? Sure. Is the Otter spells deck bad enough that you don’t want to take this unless you’re already committed? Also, yes.
Chittering Skullspeaker
Rating: 3.0/5
An Elvish Visionary is still a good card even if you do have to pay one life for the privilege of drawing a card. If you end up with multiples (which is possible since it is an uncommon) then this can turn into a real card advantage machine.
Putrefying Rotboar
Rating: 4.5/5
You had me at 4/5 with life link for the bargain price of only four mana. This stinky piggie (some may call him Pumbaa and you should definitely watch the hot tub scene from Lion King 1 and a 1/2 for some laughs) leaves your opponent gagging when he attacks. That can add up fast especially if they have more than one trigger on a card.
Sanguine Soothsayer
Rating: 4.5/5
This card conjures Sanguine Bond.
This could end up playing like a 5.0, but it does die to removal without doing anything. A two power evasive lifelinker for two is a great deal, but putting a free (normally five drop) cantrip into your deck every time you attack really puts it over the top. Sanguine Bond is no joke especially when there is an entire archetype built around life gain. Food turning into Lightning Bolt etc.
Tasteful Offering
Rating: 2.0/5
In the right deck (aka the food deck because it’s tasty…get it?) this can turn into some real cards and it even provides you with the first food to kick it off.
Brave Meadowguard
Rating: 3.0/5
This card conjures Might of the Meek.
Replacing itself while also growing up fast is a nice little deal for two mana (plus one for the Might of the Meek). Boros will love this card, but it will still be fine in almost any red deck. Even Otters will want it because it comes with that cantrip spell.
Charged Conjuration
Rating: 1.0/5
This card conjures:
This is a constructed shenanigans card. You just aren’t going to gain enough velocity to really make it worth it. Sure, the cards you can get off of it are nicely situational, but you do have to pay full rate for them after you sacrifice this to get one. How many spells are you really pulling off before that?
Cindercone Smite
Rating: 3.0/5
One mana removal feels amazing in this format letting you catch right back up and this even gives you a treasure token if you lost the almighty coin flip.
Bramblearmor Brawler
Rating: 4.5/5
As we used to say about cards (way) back in the day, this is some good. Uncounterable 5/5 trample for four is obviously a beating. Perpetually growing all the creatures in your deck when they cast a noncreature spell is just the icing on top.
Fountainport Charmer
Rating: 3.0/5
I never trust a bard and I doubt being a frog is going to change my mind about that. As far as the card goes, it’s pretty solid.
A Centaur Courser that makes every creature in your hand a bit cheaper is fine and dandy, but with Offspring it can let you really blow up the next turn dropping multiple chonkers.
Traverse Valley
Rating: 1.0/5
You’ll probably only have one or two nonbasic lands in your deck so this could very easily be a dead draw even early in the game. None of the ones in the set are powerful enough to take that chance.
Vigorous Farming
Rating: 0.5/5
Maybe there’s a world where this ends up letting you ramp like crazy, but its pretty much dead later in the game and might not even do much early if your next land is a few cards down.
Ace Flockbringer
Rating: 4.5/5
This is a card advantage machine letting you dupe up all of your nonflyers with new and improved versions. It’s even got good stats for the cost on top of that.
Darkstar Banisher
Rating: 4.0/5
A three mana Faceless Butcher with flying feels great. The replacement going to their hand instead of adding to the battlefield is premium. Depending on what you hit with it (such as their only enchantment), they might not even get anything back when they kill this.
Dazzling Flameweaver
Rating: 4.5/5
This card conjures:
This does require combat damage so none of the lizard shenanigans such as Agate-Blade Assassin or Glidedive Duo to get a free trigger. It does let you take advantage of first strike to potentially get two triggers in the same turn. All of the cards have spectacle so you will be able to cast them on a discount.
Thought Rattle
Rating: 2.5/5
In a lot of cases your opponent will be empty handed by the time you get threshold. Obviously its great if you get both, but mostly it’s a discard spell or seeking a rat.
Marshland Hordemaster
Rating: 3.5/5
This has to be in the lizard deck to really shine, but it can add up quickly especially when you are dropping some of the Offspring ones for extra triggers and attackers. It can also drain them out with a swiftness.
Resourceful Collector
Rating: 4.0/5
This trash panda is perfectly fine on rate and he provides you with a steady source of food or cards once they are in your graveyard.
Buxton, Decorated Host
Rating: 5.0/5
This is another of those cards that I thought was silly until I noticed the part where it puts them onto the battlefield. That upgrades this from a “groan” to a “GG”. It can come down really early (turn three on a perfect draw) immediately adding more board presence and a fresh permanent. It’s not like rabbits has a problem going wide for this.
Indris, the Hydrostatic Surge
Rating: 3.5/5
This card conjures Lightning Bolt.
This is kind of pricy and it doesn’t guarantee that you will ever see that Lightning Bolt (with storm). The turning all of your instants and sorceries into cantrips can be a really big deal. If you find yourself in the Otter spells deck, this guy can be a bomb for you, but in any other deck he’s a no go.
Euru, Acorn Scrounger
Rating: 4.5/5
This card conjures Chitterspitter.
For those of you that didn’t have the pleasure of playing Modern Horizons 2 drafts, Chitterspitter was both a bomb and an extremely fun card to play. This guy brings his own along with him and gives you the opportunity to pump up the jams even further.
Recruit Instructor
Rating: 4.5/5
This card conjures:
The Boros decks are never going to have trouble having mice around to trigger this including itself. There are so many platinum hits off of this like actual factual Embercleave or Angelfire Ignition. On top of that this produces plenty of tokens every time you target it with one of the many spells it produces.
Leaf-Leap Guide
Rating: 4.5/5
This can grow crazy big as well as buffing up your other creatures along the way. Since it’s perpetual, it even means that the other creature keeps it when you bounce it for more value. I’m sure the ever-present Pond Prophet will have a great time with this.
Wrap Up
Thanks for reading! I’ll be back soon with some more of that hot content that you all crave. Until then, stay classy people!
If you have any questions, let me know in the comments below.
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